Why? Because Rand Paul is a dick, a wanker, a scrotum face, a wiener, a dork, a froto, a donger, a knob, a tool, a mushroom head, a Mr. If Billionaire Bezos really wanted his rocket to look like a penis, it would have looked like Rand Paul. The only thing more vulgar would be running photos of Rand Paul on the front page. Editors probably won’t even read this cartoon and kill it just from the image of the phallic-shaped rocket…while running photos of the phallic-shaped rocket on their front page. I saw a few good ones that weren’t too dirty, but probably still won’t be published anywhere other than social media. My colleagues spent yesterday struggling to find a way to put a dick joke in a cartoon that could get past editors. Most men don’t overcompensate shoot themselves into space inside a rocket literally shaped like a dick. Most men needing to overcompensate buy sports cars, or really large trucks, or a shit-load of guns to strap to themselves so everyone can see their entire gun collection while shopping for dental at Walmart for their one tooth. Two things I was very impressed by was the landing of the rocket right back to its launch pad and that the media could spend hours covering it without once mentioning it’s shaped like a giant scrotum. Personally, if a flying penis is about to take to the skies, I want to know about it ahead of time. And then yesterday after Bezo’s rocket went off, social media lit up with, “Oh my god, that looks like a dick.” Maybe nobody was paying attention to what was about to happen until it happened. The only reactions it received were, “Huh?”. I posted a YouTube clip of the running gag in the Austin Powers movies about how Dr. Sometimes I feel like I’m a day ahead of everyone else…or at least schmoes on social media. And if any aliens were on their way to our planet while that rocket was…entering…space, they probably turned around. If one phallic-looking human being can put a phallic-looking rocket into space for three minutes, imagine what non-phallic-looking humans can do.
Yesterday, Jeff Bezos inspired the world.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to You can also snail it to P.O. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00. Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. I really wish Jeff Bezos would have been greeted as he stepped out of his phallus-shaped rocket by a prankster in an ape costumer wearing a tie and a Blue Origin shirt. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter.
0 kommentar(er)
